Lesson 1: Strive to always live with integrity

In my most recent relationship, I lost almost completely who I was. I was out there enjoying my life, to the fullest extent I knew how at the time. I was partying. I invited myself to go to a play with a boy I didn’t know. He didn’t have anyone else to take so he accepted my offer. We hit it off, which may be an understatement. We had similar ideas about life, love and what where we were going. That night turned into a two-year courtship during which, I forgot what it meant to have my own life independent of another person. He and his family questioned me about my religious, political, sexual, and moral beliefs often. I thought I knew all the answers, but I found myself second-guessing every answer I gave, always wondering if I truly believed in the debate I was having or if I was just putting up defenses against their unknowing attacks on my identity.

After the relationship ended I naturally turned to my closest friends and family with the question, why? Why wasn’t I good enough? Of course, it wasn’t a matter of whether or not I was good enough. But their answers were strikingly similar…”You let him decide for you”, “You weren’t even being yourself”, and “It’s like you forgot who you are”.

 After a year of reflection and rebuilding, I know that it wasn’t his entire fault. I let myself be taken down because I wasn’t fully sure of myself.  What I learned is to never let anyone allow you to question what you stand for, never let anyone make you feel that you are not good enough or that your opinion doesn’t matter, and never fall in love with someone who is not going to stand by your side. What I know I do stand for is this: Be as honest as you can stomach, communicate whole heartedly, have passion for what you do, surround yourself with positive energy, let go of resentment and believe in love, life, fate, strength, timing and happiness. 

Yalanda

Posted by Sharon K. Sobotta at 6/27/2010 9:14 AM
Categories: uncategorized
 

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